Testimonials

My Lesson in Hope by Jan Ashton

I met and married my soul mate in 1997. Many single years and 2 divorces, I was absolutely the happiest I had ever been in my life.

We moved to Virginia from Florida to start our new life together. I am an Advertising Sales Rep and I found a job at the CBS station in Norfolk Va.

During an annual check up, my doctor suggested that I have a colonoscopy. All of my friends and family said…”Oh it is terrible, you have to drink all of that stuff”. Needless to say, I was dreading it. It was scheduled for Sept 13, 2001.

Then 9-11 happened, what a great excuse to cancel my appointment. It was a frenzy at the TV station and after all I was in the media.

I never rescheduled.

We decided to return to Florida in December of that year. I had worked in that market all of my professional life and I had an opportunity for a position at the station where I had always wanted to work. Life was really great.

In the fall of 2003, I started having a lot of bowel problems and then I noticed the blood. Lots of it. It took 2 weeks to get in to see my family doctor and I asked him to set up an appointment for the long overdue colonoscopy. I was 54 years old.

Dec. 1st 2003 I had the colonoscopy. I was very lighthearted and even joked with a friend who was also in for her test. I was put to sleep and I woke up with the doctor looking down at me and he said “I have very bad news” My face turned hot. He said he found a tumor the size of a golf ball in my colon. I asked him if he had sent it for testing, he said yes, but he knew from experience it was malignant. In just seconds my life had changed drastically and I was totally out of control.

The doctors staff immediately got on the phone and set up appointments with a surgeon and the radiology dept. They also suggested an oncologist.

My husband and I went for the CT scan and blood work. I could hear the whispers and looks of sympathy from the nurses. This just could not be happening to me. I had always been very arrogant about my health. Never sick, didn’t get the flu, colds were very unusual in my life.

My CEA level (shows the activity of the cancer) was 298. I didn’t know until later, normal counts were between 0-6. I was later told by a friend that she had heard that CEA levels of 300+ were a no turning back situation.

Our next appointment was with a surgeon in our home town. It was 7pm and I guess she was tired, but she put my CT scan film on her screen and said “look at this, I can’t do anything for you, I can’t believe they sent you here” This just can’t be happening to me!
My husband and I left and on the drive home, he cried so hard he sounded like a wounded animal. He just kept saying “my baby girl” He had never called me that before.

I was numb.

It actually took my breath away thinking of my future. I kept telling myself that we are all eventually going to die. I kept thinking of the people I had known that had passed over. I kept saying to myself…”I can do this”.

I am a very spiritual person, I believe in life after death, I believe we reincarnate, however I knew I wasn’t ready to give up my happy life.

I have never been a person to become a victim. Yet, here I was getting into that mindset.

The next day a friend called me. I told her the news. Her response was that she had a friend that doctors predicted would only live for 6 months and that was 15 years ago. She is still alive. She told me she had gone to Houston to the MD Anderson Hospital.

I got on the internet and found their website. I filled out an online application and within an hour they called me to set up an appointment. They also arranged transportation with their travel agency. The sooner I could get there the better.

They said to plan to stay 6 weeks.

My family was devastated. My parents uprooted their life and came to our home to take care of our little dogs and also to be there for me.

We packed and were on our way the next day.

We arrived at the cancer center. Hope….

The lady at the admitting office said “you know that you are inoperable don’t you?” I couldn’t believe she would say that.
We waited 2 hours to see the specialist. Same answer. She said there was nothing to be done in Houston that I couldn’t get in my home town. Chemotherapy was all that was available for my stage 4 cancer . The cancer had spread to my liver. I had 6 lesions and the tumor growing in my colon.

At that point, I asked her if there were any studies (the least I could do is help the next cancer victims). She said yes and checked her computer and gave us the first good news of this adventure. They were also conducting the study in our home town.
We were sent home that day.

My husband and I were both confused and depressed. We feared it was another doom and gloom scenario and possibly the end of the road.

I set up an appointment with an oncologist that my co-worker used. By now it was getting into the holiday season and they couldn’t see me until the beginning of the year. My coworker had the doctor’s cell phone number and called in a favor. I was to see him that week. He would work me into his busy schedule.

When I went to the oncology office, I was horrified. The walls were a faux paint and they looked like the color of vomit. I looked at the other patients in the waiting room and thought “I don’t belong here.” I started to cry.

When I saw the doctor, he had a huge file that had been sent to him from Houston. He said “they did the work for me, now we just have to get you accepted into the study.”

Holidays again, time was running out, I was so afraid my bowel would close from the growing tumor. I was feeling total panic.
Through some very diligent work by the doctor who handled the study program, I was accepted and had my first treatment on December 29th.

The love and support from all of my friends, family and coworkers was astounding. The owner of our TV station called me into his office. He is a wonderful man in his 80’s and everyone is a little afraid of him, he has such a presence. He said, “Jan we are family here and you are part of our family, we will see you through this” I just cried and cried. He hugged me and gave me a box of Kleenex.
All of my coworkers took over the major responsibility of my work.

I was being so blessed by such loving support. It was time for me to “pull up my socks” and take charge of my life and my health.
I went to a nutritional therapist and started a “homeopathic chemo program” which I believe kept me going throughout the therapy. I continued working except on chemo treatment days.

People sent angels, books, flowers and self healing tapes. I was informed of all of the prayer lists that people had thought to put me on. I do believe in the power of prayer and wondered if God was wondering “who is this person? I am getting so many messages about her.”

March 1st. Another blood test. The physican’s assistant said she couldn’t believe it. My CEA level had dropped to 58. I was being treated with as much chemo possible for a human to endure according to my doctor. The study that I was in was for AVASTIN, a new drug for colon cancer. I was also being treated with two older cancer drugs. Another CT scan showed the tumor in my colon had fallen off.

It was an interesting time. The “vomit colored walls” didn’t bother me as badly. I found all of the cancer patients to be friendly and most of them wanted to share stories of their own cancer journey.

Some treatment days were better than others. Some days you cry and some days you laugh and joke with the other patients. I wondered when we would stop the treatment. I once asked my doctor “are you going to wait until I fall over?” The drugs were getting harder to tolerate.

In July after my 12th treatment I did just that. I passed out in the bathroom and my husband had to call 911. They took me to the hospital and the doctor on call said he thought I had pneumonia. I later found out that I had “hit the wall” a term for enough already! No more chemo. My body couldn’t take any more.

My hair had thinned and I had lost some weight, but I still looked and felt okay. Not great, but still functioning.

By July my CEA level had dropped to 3.8. Great news!

My oncologist wanted me to see another surgeon. He made an appointment for me at Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa. The surgeon and my oncologist wanted the cancer contaminated tissue to be removed because of “sleeper cells”

I had the surgery in August. Everything looked good. In January of the following year my CEA level started climbing again and I went in for another ablation surgery on my liver. They use radio waves to burn the lesions.

It has been 2 years since that day in December. My lesson… there is hope. Through love, support and determination to take charge, my life has changed, my family and my workplace have changed. We all love one another and I believe all were touched a little to be part of this journey. I thank God daily for this experience.

I faced death and grew from it.

My husband and I continue to enjoy living. We are closer and more in love with our life than ever.

Editors' Note: Jan's amazing story was published in the February 29, 2006 edition of Womens World Magazine

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